Bleeding is a Total Mood Killer
by Ravenclaw1991
Summary: Stiles attempts to relieve some stress after a difficult few days by having 'Stiles Time.' He has an embarrassing accident that results in more embarrassment. This takes place during 'The Red Moon' and is part of the Werewolf Stiles series.


**I sincerely apologise for this. Its rather... disturbing. It honestly, in my opinion, sounds exactly like something Stiles would do, so I wrote it. This takes place after chapter 6 of _The Red Mo_o_n_. Its not important to the plot or anything, so you don't _have _to read it to understand any of the rest of the story. I don't own Teen Wolf, no matter cool it would be.**

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A few days after going to Derek and asking to be bitten, Stiles had gotten used to it. He needed some Stiles time though. He'd been stressed with almost killing Harris twice and worrying about what he thought he had done.

With that being said, Stiles made sure his bedroom window was locked and the blinds were closed. He didn't want any unexpected visitors while he was having his Stiles time. And he wouldn't put it past Erica to peep in on him. She was a sick lady. He locked his bedroom door as well because his dad was home, but he was downstairs watching a ball game on tv. He could hear it from his room.

Stiles took off his clothes and settled himself on his bed, propped up by the pillows. He grabbed his bottle of lotion and the box of tissues from behind his head. Thoughts of a certain young lady named Lydia Martin began to fill his mind.

Stiles lathered up his hand with lotion and got to work. He was trying to draw out the process for as long as possible. He felt his heart speeding up. Suddenly he felt searing pain on his.. you know what.

He opened his eyes and saw blood everywhere. It looked mutilated. Maybe that was just an exaggeration, it was just a few claw marks. He didn't even register that it was healing. He jumped up and started screaming. He heard his dad bound up the stairs and start pounding on the door.

"Stiles?" he yelled, " are you okay? I heard you scream. Like a girl. Seriously, Stiles, man up some."

"Gee, dad thanks. Yeah, I'm fine. I just saw a giant spider and it scared me," he lied.

"Oh, alright, I'm going back downstairs then. Please throw your gross tissues in the trash this time, I know what you're doing and leaving them on the floor is disgusting."

"Oh my God! Dad! Never say that again."

He heard his dad chuckle as he walked back down the stairs.

Stiles looked down and he was completely healed, but it was still covered in blood.

"The bleeding totally killed the mood. And this is going to lead me to have an awkward conversation with someone," he groaned to himself. He listened to make sure his dad was in back on the couch before grabbing clothes and making his way down the hall to shower.

Several hours later, they were all in the abandoned train depot wrapping up their pack meeting. When Derek finally finished telling them things they needed to know, Stiles spoke up.

"You guys know this is kind of new for me. Being a werewolf I mean. Doing what we do isn't because I've been doing it longer than half of us."

"Get to the point, Stiles," Derek growled.

"Alright. Its awkward. Um, have any of you guys ever had an issue when you were knocking one out?"

"Knocking one of what from where?" Scott asked.

Stiles sighed. "Girls, you might want to cover your ears." Allison and Lydia did so. Erica just smirked and sat up in her seat. "Alright, when you're.. You know. Oh God. Doing things with yourself." He didn't want to flat out say it because it was embarrassing enough.

"You mean whacking off?" Isaac asked.

"Yes, thank you for saying it. Have any of you ever had an issue?"

"What do you mean?" Boyd asked. "I don't see what kind of issues that could cause. Its a rather straight forward process."

"Holy crap, I think you're trying to make me die of embarrassment. Alright, I'll just say it and please don't laugh. Promise?"

Everyone nodded.

"Alright, earlier today I was doing _that_ and I had my eyes closed." Everyone was looking uncomfortable. "And you know how when you do that you're heart starts speeding up?" They nodded. "Well, I felt a sharp pain and I looked and it was all mutilated down there. My claws came out and ripped it to shreds. I almost gave my dad a heart attack because he heard me scream."

"My ears!" Lydia screeched.

"More like my eyes! I just had a visual," Allison cried.

"Well, I told you to cover your ears."

"You were taking too long and we were curious," Lydia admitted. "Now I wish we hadn't listened."

"I can totally help you out with that sometime, Stiles," Erica suggested. She was still smirking.

"Is this seriously my life?" Jackson groaned.

"No thanks, Erica. Then it wouldn't be Stiles time."

"Dude! Did you just turn a girl down who was offering to get you off?" Scott asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, but I know she was joking. So it doesn't matter."

"How do you know?" Erica frowned. "I could've been serious."

"Are you being serious, Erica? If you are, let's go, right now," Stiles told her. She grimaced. "I rest my case."

"I vote for getting Stilinski a freaking girlfriend," Jackson said loudly. "Or a boyfriend. I swear if I ever have to hear a story like that again, I'll need a therapist."

Derek remained silent trying to wonder when his life decided to go downhill forever. First his family burns to death in a fire, then his uncle kills his sister, he has to kill his uncle before said uncle comes back from the dead now he's stuck listening to a story about how a teenage werewolf accidentally mutilated his penis while playing with himself.

_What did I do to deserve this?_ Derek thought._ Kill me now._


End file.
